Tuesday, 18 June 2019

Forgo the pain

'Why did you do that?'....
'Do what?'
'Ignore him, you know what am talking about'...
 I pretended like i didn't hear what kofo was saying. I just nodded my head to some imaginable tones cause i knew my headphones were playing nothing.
'You need to stop this thing you do, always blocking the rest of the world out'.
She hissed and started walking faster than me.
'Ahhaannnn... Kofo; Stop. Ok, I'm sorry for playing dumb. I didn't just want to talk to him.'
'At least you would've smiled, you just passed like you guys are strangers.'
'You won't understand'. I said.
'I won't understand cause you don't want me to understand.' She looked at me with eyes that begged me to explain my reasons, but i ignored it.

'Fine. Its your life. I need to get some things from the market I'll see you later.'
'Okay.' I sighed as i watched her leave. I turned back heading to my dorm. But if i should ask myself the reason why i did such, I would end up with no answer. I just had to do it, wasn't ready to talk to him after what happened....Yeah; and about that, I'm not ready to go down that lane..
Heading to class the next day i prayed i wasn't going to run into him, but luck i think isn't on my side. Ernest stood in front of my class door like he was waiting for someone or looking for someone...
I quickly turned, my heart beating fast, praying he doesn’t see me. He had this face that could steal your breath away, my stomach churned.
'Oh not now!’
I tried to calm myself but my heart was beating like i just ran trying to overtake Usain Bolt.

I turned halfway, trying to get a glimpse of his face from the tree in front of me. He was still there, trying to look for whoever it was. I had a feeling it wasn't me. So I decided to wait a little bit longer.
'Hey!  Ern. How long have you been waiting?'
That voice, don't think i know that voice, I turned to the direction of the voice, that's when i saw her. Yeah, she is a beauty, she smiled and ran to his arms that were already open.
Something happened! For a minute, i thought i felt pain in my chest. He kissed her, i didn't care where, but he kissed her. Eyes that smiled at me that night, lips that couldn't get enough of me kissed her again.
This time the pain was sharp but I ignored it.

'What are you looking at?'
I jumped back like someone who was caught doing something wrong.
'Nothing.' I turned smiling at Kofo but the smile didn't get to my eyes. She noticed.
'What do you mean nothing,'
 She pushed me away and stared at the direction i was looking at.
'OMG!  Kim don't tell me.... This is not true right.'
'I don't understand, what you're talking about?'
She looked at me dead in the eye.
'Enough of your lies, you didn't tell me you guys are no longer together. That he is going out with someone else. Was that why you ignored him yesterday?'
'Kofo, seriously I don't know what you are talking about, I was waiting for you, so we could go see my supervisor.'
'So you want to tell me you didn't see Ernest?'.  I avoided her eyes. This time i couldn't ignore the pain in my chest
'I think the supervisor has to wait, first I need to go to the clinic.'
I grabbed her hand walking towards the opposite direction, my mind wasn't in whatever she was saying. I was trying to fight the tears that were battling to fall. I bit my lips so hard, I'm sure I tasted blood. I just prayed i wouldn't see the bastard’s face again; not now, not ever.

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